{"id":890,"date":"2026-04-18T12:18:25","date_gmt":"2026-04-18T10:18:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/debruyn-walters.com\/index.php\/2026\/04\/18\/living-in-the-in-between-my-life-with-fnd\/"},"modified":"2026-04-18T12:18:25","modified_gmt":"2026-04-18T10:18:25","slug":"living-in-the-in-between-my-life-with-fnd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/debruyn-walters.com\/index.php\/2026\/04\/18\/living-in-the-in-between-my-life-with-fnd\/","title":{"rendered":"Living in the In-Between: My Life with FND"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Some days, my body feels like a stranger I\u2019m forced to share space with.

Living with Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) is not something you can fully explain to someone who hasn\u2019t experienced it. It\u2019s unpredictable, complex, and often invisible. One moment, I can feel almost like myself again \u2014 moving, thinking, existing with a sense of normality. And the next, my body rewrites the rules without warning.

There are days when my hands tremble without permission, when my legs feel heavy and disconnected, when even the simplest tasks require immense effort. It\u2019s not just physical \u2014 it\u2019s mental, emotional, and deeply personal. FND doesn\u2019t just affect how I move; it affects how I see myself.

What makes it harder is the misunderstanding. From the outside, I might look \u201cfine.\u201d But inside, there\u2019s a constant negotiation happening \u2014 between what I want to do and what my body will allow. It teaches patience in ways I never asked for, and resilience I didn\u2019t know I needed.

But here\u2019s the truth I\u2019ve come to hold onto: I am still here.

Even on the hardest days, when frustration creeps in and exhaustion takes over, I am learning to listen to my body instead of fighting it. I am learning that rest is not weakness, that slowing down is not failure, and that my worth is not defined by my productivity.

Living with FND means living in the in-between \u2014 between strength and struggle, progress and pause, hope and uncertainty.

And somehow, in that in-between, I am still finding pieces of myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Some days, my body feels like a stranger I\u2019m forced to share space with. Living with Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) is not something you can fully explain to someone who hasn\u2019t experienced it. It\u2019s unpredictable, complex, and often invisible. One moment, I can feel almost like myself again \u2014 moving, thinking, existing with a sense […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[166],"tags":[167],"class_list":["post-890","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-my-life-with-fnd","tag-fndwarrior-chronicillnessjourney-invisibleillness-resilience-healinginprogress"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/debruyn-walters.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/IMG-20260417-WA0012-scaled.jpeg?fit=1440%2C2560&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":895,"url":"https:\/\/debruyn-walters.com\/index.php\/2026\/04\/24\/waking-up-paralyzed-the-reality-of-living-with-fnd\/","url_meta":{"origin":890,"position":0},"title":"Waking Up Paralyzed: The Reality of Living with FND","author":"Rey De Bruyn-Walters","date":"24 April 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"This morning, I woke up and couldn\u2019t move my legs at all. 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But today, I was back on my feet\u2014at the gym, moving, pushing, and feeling somewhat like myself again.A constant tremor in my right arm stayed with me, but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "My life with FND"","block_context":{"text":"My life with FND","link":"https:\/\/debruyn-walters.com\/index.php\/category\/my-life-with-fnd\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/debruyn-walters.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/file_00000000b04471f587cb8544c8b4665d-1.png?fit=675%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/debruyn-walters.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/file_00000000b04471f587cb8544c8b4665d-1.png?fit=675%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/debruyn-walters.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/file_00000000b04471f587cb8544c8b4665d-1.png?fit=675%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":897,"url":"https:\/\/debruyn-walters.com\/index.php\/2026\/04\/27\/my-body-pauses-my-spirit-doesnt\/","url_meta":{"origin":890,"position":3},"title":"My Body Pauses, My Spirit Doesn\u2019t","author":"Rey De Bruyn-Walters","date":"27 April 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"This morning I woke up with my legs paralysed again. That familiar fear crept in\u2014but so did something stronger: determination. As the feeling slowly returned, I stretched, breathed through it, and made a decision\u2026 I was going to run.Connor, my usual partner in crime, is recovering after surgery, and my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "My life with FND"","block_context":{"text":"My life with FND","link":"https:\/\/debruyn-walters.com\/index.php\/category\/my-life-with-fnd\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/debruyn-walters.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/IMG_20260426_161105_284.webp?fit=675%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/debruyn-walters.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/IMG_20260426_161105_284.webp?fit=675%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/debruyn-walters.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/IMG_20260426_161105_284.webp?fit=675%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":902,"url":"https:\/\/debruyn-walters.com\/index.php\/2026\/05\/09\/stronger-than-the-setback\/","url_meta":{"origin":890,"position":4},"title":"Stronger Than the Setback","author":"Rey De Bruyn-Walters","date":"9 May 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"After taking a week off to recover from injured legs and flare-ups from FND (Functional Neurological Disorder), I\u2019m finally back in the gym preparing for Hyrox \u2014 only 3 weeks away.Today\u2019s session was intense. 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